Content should be free. Because I deserve it.

Attention New York Times, Hulu Plus, and Porn:

Sometimes I don’t think you adequately appreciate my contribution to your little enterprise: consuming, appreciating, sharing and masturbating to your content at no charge. News reporting, filmed story-telling, watching other people have sex… historically I’ve never been charged for these services. And I never should.

Content should be free. If for no other reason than that I deserve it. Here’s why:

  • I’ve posted at least 25 comments on random blogs and premium podcasts declaring that content should be free.
  • I once watched 13 episodes of the 4th season of LOST in a single day.
  • I did not eat a burrito yesterday.
  • In the second grade I took care of the class Guinea Pig for the entire week I was supposed to.
  • I live in America.
  • I once created a video on YouTube that was free.
  • I’ve eaten 5 burritos in the past week.
  • I gave $.47 to a homeless man.
  • I work for a living.
  • I still haven’t seen the Wire.
  • I thought about voting the last midterm election.
  • Sometimes I tip my drop-off laundry person.
  • I don’t want to pay.

I think I’ve made my case pretty clear. Now please give me all of the free articles, television and taped sexual intercourse you have. At the end of the day, a reliable business model means that I’ll be happy.

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4 Responses to Content should be free. Because I deserve it.

  1. Beth says:

    I agree. I have already used up my free articles at the NYT looking at slide shows of houses and reading about illnesses in the Health section. I haven’t had a slide show for weeks! Withdrawal symptoms include groaning, facebook stalking, and inability to click on facebook links to the NYT.

  2. Marc O. says:

    I’m glad you specifically mentioned “sexual intercourse,” as opposed to just girls doing sexy things. I’m as straight as the day is long, but I just need a penis in there somewhere to add to whatever video I’m watching’s legitimacy. Also, I agree that I should be able to watch as many Dane Cook specials as I want, regardless of how old they are, online. That said, I’m unfamiliar with this thing you call the NY Times. Is that a magazine about watches?


  3. Delynn says:

    Clot, if you show in Watchung what do you know about MLS #2477138 on Johnston Drive? My father lived there till 1997 and I’m sure he’d be iensreettd on what’s going on with it. From what I know, it used to be listed with Weichert and is now with ReMax, it was listed $525K and is now at $499K.

  4. If U had just heard the judge say that UR lawyer failed to call witnesses “crucial to UR defense” and you had just heard UR lawyer threaten to walk out on your trial, would you cordially shake UR lawyer’s hand and exchange pleasantries before he walked out of the courtroom?U would if he knew from day one an absolute jury fix was in?

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