Attention New York Times, Hulu Plus, and Porn:
Sometimes I don’t think you adequately appreciate my contribution to your little enterprise: consuming, appreciating, sharing and masturbating to your content at no charge. News reporting, filmed story-telling, watching other people have sex… historically I’ve never been charged for these services. And I never should.
Content should be free. If for no other reason than that I deserve it. Here’s why:
- I’ve posted at least 25 comments on random blogs and premium podcasts declaring that content should be free.
- I once watched 13 episodes of the 4th season of LOST in a single day.
- I did not eat a burrito yesterday.
- In the second grade I took care of the class Guinea Pig for the entire week I was supposed to.
- I live in America.
- I once created a video on YouTube that was free.
- I’ve eaten 5 burritos in the past week.
- I gave $.47 to a homeless man.
- I work for a living.
- I still haven’t seen the Wire.
- I thought about voting the last midterm election.
- Sometimes I tip my drop-off laundry person.
- I don’t want to pay.
I think I’ve made my case pretty clear. Now please give me all of the free articles, television and taped sexual intercourse you have. At the end of the day, a reliable business model means that I’ll be happy.