Content should be free. Because I deserve it.

Attention New York Times, Hulu Plus, and Porn:

Sometimes I don’t think you adequately appreciate my contribution to your little enterprise: consuming, appreciating, sharing and masturbating to your content at no charge. News reporting, filmed story-telling, watching other people have sex… historically I’ve never been charged for these services. And I never should.

Content should be free. If for no other reason than that I deserve it. Here’s why:

  • I’ve posted at least 25 comments on random blogs and premium podcasts declaring that content should be free.
  • I once watched 13 episodes of the 4th season of LOST in a single day.
  • I did not eat a burrito yesterday.
  • In the second grade I took care of the class Guinea Pig for the entire week I was supposed to.
  • I live in America.
  • I once created a video on YouTube that was free.
  • I’ve eaten 5 burritos in the past week.
  • I gave $.47 to a homeless man.
  • I work for a living.
  • I still haven’t seen the Wire.
  • I thought about voting the last midterm election.
  • Sometimes I tip my drop-off laundry person.
  • I don’t want to pay.

I think I’ve made my case pretty clear. Now please give me all of the free articles, television and taped sexual intercourse you have. At the end of the day, a reliable business model means that I’ll be happy.

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2 Responses to Content should be free. Because I deserve it.

  1. Beth says:

    I agree. I have already used up my free articles at the NYT looking at slide shows of houses and reading about illnesses in the Health section. I haven’t had a slide show for weeks! Withdrawal symptoms include groaning, facebook stalking, and inability to click on facebook links to the NYT.

  2. Marc O. says:

    I’m glad you specifically mentioned “sexual intercourse,” as opposed to just girls doing sexy things. I’m as straight as the day is long, but I just need a penis in there somewhere to add to whatever video I’m watching’s legitimacy. Also, I agree that I should be able to watch as many Dane Cook specials as I want, regardless of how old they are, online. That said, I’m unfamiliar with this thing you call the NY Times. Is that a magazine about watches?

    Sincerely,
    Marc

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